Tuesday, July 17, 2012

FEAR - 6 steps to help you move past it.

F.E.A.R - False evidence appearing real. Does fear stop you from reaching your goals, dreams, desires?

Feel the fear and do it anyway.  That is has been my motto as an adult.  That's how I raised my children. One day I heard my son say, "I hate bridges."" I didn't know that.  He had just crossed a huge bridge and I asked him why he did it if he was afraid of them.  He replied, "That's what you taught me, Mom."

I grew up in an atmosphere of fear.  Nothing overt, just subtle holding back, not willing to try, wanting but being too afraid to go for it.  It shaped me.  I decided I wouldn't let fear stop me from doing what I wanted.

The desire to move ahead with your intended goal or dream must be greater than the fear that blocks you.  It's that simple.  Whichever is greater, desire or fear, will win.

Realize that part of being a risk-taker is living with  fear.  It doesn't even have to be a BIG goal or risk.  Little things like driving to new places can be very scary to some of us!

  1. Learn to be comfortable with that state of being. Get comfortable with fear. Tell yourself it's OK to be afraid.  It's OK. It's not the big bad bear and it won't swallow you! 
  2. You can address some of your fear by examining it's source. Is it fear of success, of failure, of rejection, of criticism?  What, exactly, are you afraid of?  
  3. Ask yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how badly you want to do the thing you fear.  Then ask yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how much fear you're feeling.  Which is greater?
  4. Sit in the fear.  Feel it.  Make friends with it.  Seriously.   
  5. Many of our fears are from childhood.  So parent your inner child.  Talk to him/her.  Tell your inner child that you understand that they are afraid but you will protect them.  It'soften the little child that's afraid, not the grown-up.  
  6. Ask yourself, "What's the worse thing that can happen if I do this thing I fear?" I'll get lost?  Can I handle that?  If you can handle the worst thing, you can handle your fear.
  7. Take one tiny baby step in the direction of your fear. There!  You're moving in the right direction.
 Fear has enticing, lulling, positive sides to it - it can keep you safe, keep the status quo, you never have to face failure or be embarrassed because you screwed up.  But you're also never feel the rewards - "I did it"  "I overcame!"

So, the next time you think, "I'm afraid of bridges!" Cross them anyway.  "I'm afraid of new places!  Go anyway.  "I'm afraid of switching jobs."  Do it anyway.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Angela Di Cicco
Angela's Artistic Designs
 http://www.etsy.com/shop/angel9

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